Meet Our Site Director!

Swampy: I was born the illegitimate son of Captain Edward Lemwaa Bastich and Lady Demwee LaBePhusse, (who was not a lady of good social standing). I was too much of a hastle for my mother who left me with my father when he came to port when I was six. My father had no use for me and quickly traded me to the Kapow Kapow Tribe for some beads and a flask of rum. I later realized that the Kapow tribe was merely drunken natives shooting each other during war dances. Around age twelve, the Kapow tribe traded me to rum runners for three bottles of Two FingersRum. After six years of working on the ship as servant to the captain and 1st mate, 'twas the plank for me. Partaking in to much rum was the crime. Destined for Jones Locker, fate had another plan and I washed up on shore near a ship loading supplies instead. I signed on to the Marrianne under the command of the pirate Captain Sam Bellamy. Thus began me days of pirating! I jumped ship and served five years of plundering, pillaging, and booty under Captains Pelgrave and LaBuze. Again 'twas the plank: too much booty and rum. Aye it be the Locker for me. Fished from the sea by the crew of the Marie Griffon, I found myself at the boots of Captain Black Roger Cash. Three years a deck hand with plenty of booty and rum, hahahahahaha! Now as first mate, pirating is the life for me! Arrrrrrrrr!!!!